Shame

My husband, son and I just got back from an overnight road trip for a college visit. I had my ear buds in listening to a bubble hour broadcast about shame. I so related and it was an eye opener.

I realized that I do feel a lot of shame. For instance, my son has been diagnosed with ADHD and coexisting issues that go along with it. Over the years I have read books, taken him to his doctor regularly, talked with his educators, etc. He gets angry very easily an is very hateful much of the time with both myself and my husband. He also has problems socially. After all of this, I feel so much shame as a parent. I feel that I have failed miserably in raising someone that such hateful things can come out of his mouth. This is only one example, but it made me realize how much shame plays a part in my drinking. In turn I feel so much shame about losing control over drinking (I don’t even tell my closest friend.) And in turn, how I would drink to dull the feelings of shame that are so hard to handle.

I have so much work to do on myself.

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5 thoughts on “Shame”

  1. Shame is a tough one. I think all moms have it. And drinking keeps us in a spiral of shame. Once you get a little time away from the booze you will begin to see that not everything is your fault. That you are carrying more self blame than you deserve. And letting it go will be freeing.

    Have you read Brene Browns the gifts of imperfection? It’s my favourite book.
    She has done great Ted talks on YouTube.
    The book is a guide to understanding our shame and letting it go.

    Liked by 1 person

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