I woke up at around 4:00 a.m. this morning, feeling depressed. I stayed in bed a while, thinking about so many things, including how isolated I feel and how I could “fix it.”
When I was young I was a happy, giggly, impulsive little girl who enjoyed life. As happens to many people, I was knocked down several notches. The rejection is just too painful. Now I approach people very cautiously, afraid to reveal myself. Writing this blog reflects that because I am cautious about every word I have written down, even though I told myself in the beginning that I was strictly writing this for myself as a sober journal.
I am just trying to make it day to day and figure out why I have come to rely on alcohol, and how not to cave to the urge in the meantime. Hopefully, I can slowly reveal who I am. At 58, it’s time for me to get this right.
I said last week that I was nearly to week two. Today is the day.
Hopefully, more of myself to come.